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12 October 2010

Zilla of the Bridal Variety.

This blog post from one of my favorite all time blogs - wedding or otherwise - is what planted the seed for my fascination with Bridezilla many months back.


Said fascination blossomed into a beautiful bulb of bitchy right here... that's it.... ( Comments always encouraged! )


What's weird is I got really into that Bridezillas TV show back in 2007, long before Sean and I got engaged. I was definitely not one of those girls who wanted to be a bride, and was always too busy staging musicals with my Barbies to be bothered fantasizing about my wedding day. In fact, up until I met Sean I was pretty convinced I was gonna be rocking the single mom thing... not that I'm a mom, but... well, I just figured I'd have a kid at some point. Partner optional.

Digression. Yes.

Every time it came on, my eyes would be fixed to the tube. And the thing is, I know better than to like this smut! I am quite proficient in Brit Coms, and love me a good documentary ( aka - reality entertainment's ethical cousin ).

I know it's crap. Better than crap - it's trash. Crap trash.

It's not helping feminism any. It's just furthering the bride bashing problem that already exists. And it's only heaping pressure onto the rest of us so-called level-headed brides to steer clear of any emotional outbursts whatsoever. It's cultivating hostility in its viewers, which they express via nasty comments on YouTube (which reminds me a lot of this passive aggressive anonymity thing when it comes to bathroom graffiti at the bar I work at - the things they write they'd NEVER have the balls to say to your face).

Yet here I am gorging on it like a fat kid with a tube of cookie dough - it tastes soooooo good, but will ultimately be my undoing.

05 October 2010

On Disney Dresses and Damage Control

I can't tell you how many articles I've read on The Princess Complex, and though the story rarely changes, it never gets old. It's like a fairy tale you want to be told over and over again.

( Much like my bibbity-bobbity-bitch fest, found here, that you will no doubt watch over and over again? )

Considering that the princess programming starts at such a young age and doesn't let up until well into our 30s, I can't imagine why people are still astonished at the way so many brides act on their wedding day! Disney and Alfred Angelo just released a video showcasing their new line of Disney princess-inspired wedding gowns, and let me tell you, it's just... gah... there isn't enough pixie dust in the world to help me find a word that can explain how I feel at this moment. Maybe a sound, but... how do you articulate this sound?

GRRRUUUHHAAAAAAHHYIRBKZBSFUAGRGkEJ! (The "j" is silent)

From an aesthetic standpoint, these dresses are supposedly inspired by the likes of Ariel, Jasmine, Snow White, etc. but look to me like  little more than straight up wedding dresses. The touches meant to specifically tie in the dresses with the characters are so subtle that unless you had the dress designer with you to repeat her spiel on a loop for all your wedding guests, the whole meaning would be lost on them. These are glorified ballgowns with the word "princess" emblazoned on them to make them "magical" or "special", when what lies underneath the sparkles and fanfare is just another dress sewn by toddlers from a country whose name we can't pronounce.

When you wish upon a star... you can sew our wedding dresses from afar!

I am also annoyed that all my efforts to comment on the dresses and the princess complex and the ridiculousness of the whole thing were for naught. Damn YouTube and its pre-approved comment posting option! What happened to the days when you could leave a rude comment on someone's video and watch all hell break loose?

No, these Disney Living people were smart - they are taking charge of their image and making sure not one negative comment breaks through their impenetrable force field of fluff. With over 1 million views in 1 week, the last thing Disney Living can afford 1 less-than-loving critique.

So I am relegated to the shadows like some sick stepsister, screaming my head off to anyone within online earshot, bitter and bitchy and by-God-not-buying-into-this-bulls**t.

Care to join me?