03 November 2010

Back from the Wed.

I didn't initially intend to take such a long hiatus from the blogging thing, but there were things outside of my wedding plans that couldn't be ignored, including (but not limited to):

... wrapping up our Where the Wild Things Are performance camp

... teaching a Monster Mania workshop for 3 to 4 year-olds

... packing up the house and leaving my Dad detailed instructions on how to use the PS3 to watch Netflix while we were away in Connecticut

... spending almost a week in Connecticut for a masquerade-themed wedding and visiting with Sean's Italian relatives

... visiting the vet several times and medicating our newest addition, Olive

I mean, how could you ignore that face in favor of anything wedding? 

Attending the wedding in Connecticut definitely was an experience. It's almost impossible for me to attend weddings anymore without analyzing the hell out of them, and this wedding was no different. The only difference now is that I feel more compelled to bite my tongue, as it is family (well, future family) and unfortunately, when it comes to weddings, no amount of criticism is going to help because a wedding is (ideally) a one-time thing, so you can hardly apply anyone's constructive notes after the fact. And besides, who the hell am I to tell anyone how to have a wedding, anyway? Right?

Sean said to me that he thinks I'm someone who just doesn't like weddings that much. At first I protested, insisting that I love the idea of weddings - the food, the music, the dancing. But then I realized, he's absolutely right. It never fails that I get to a wedding and I find myself complaining - why is there fruit in my salad? Why are they playing Kool and the Gang for the umpteenth time? And why is there never anything to do except dance?

Because I am FINICKY. And I am a PAIN IN THE ASS.

And this is an extremely liberating and important thing to realize, not just for me, but for you (I hope).

It's not that your weddings suck, because I look around and see every single other person in the room having a marvelous time. Clearly, fruit in the salad and Kool and the Gang and conga lines are preferred by the rest of the population. It's a matter of personal taste.

It's not you, Wedding. It's ME.

Part of the reason why we brides freak out so much and succumb to pressure is because of the fear of guests like me. We oscillate between extreme concern for our guests and an "Eff 'em - it's MY day" attitude where rarely a balance is struck, because let's face it, we all know you can't make everyone happy. I am the guest you don't want at your wedding, because you're going to stress out that it will never be good enough for me, and truth be told, it won't because I am not fit for weddings.

It's not your wedding. It's ME.

There are things about your weddings I totally love, don't get me wrong. The way some of you write your own vows is touching and has brought me to tears. The way all of you get all gooey when you say your I Do's makes me sigh and colors the room all pretty-like. The way you all have such concern for throwing a beautiful, memorable celebration of your new lives together is better than any signature cocktail. It's just all the pseudo-prom reception stuff afterwards that makes me all... well, you know what it makes me.

The fact that someone like me is going to be at your wedding should, hopefully, empower you to say "eff it" and put as much fruit in your salad as you want. At the end of the night and the start of your new lives, it's about you, not ME.